I woke up this morning and saw this quote on Elephant Journal:
“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” -Dalai Lama.
The majority of my mornings I wake up, ready for the day, full of have endless amounts of positive thoughts, though occasionally, there are a few days when I'm not so lucky. Did I not get enough sleep? Did I eat something weird? Why am I so grumpy and easily aggitated? I find that it's sometimes easy to take living in Yosemite for granted, though a quick look around quickly confirms that I easily live in one of the most beautiful places in the US.
When we returned from traveling for three and a half months, I started back at the daycare, working with the adorable babies almost immediately, and have been working 40 hour weeks since. Somewhere along the way, I picked up a second job that I really like - working for Outdoor Gear Lab, increasing my work week to a minimum of 50 hours, but usually 55-60. I sometimes struggle with making enough time for myself now (and feeling like climbing is the only option when I have free time), as making dollar dollar bills (ya'll) was the key component in paying off money that I had borrowed from Cheyne during our trip, as well as money that I had spent on my credit cards.
A reality check sometimes brings me back to a good place, though I still have a difficult time being "ok", whatever that means, with not climbing every free second that I have. I go back and forth between wanting to climb and wanting to spend my (limited) time in other ways. Where did my psych go - especially for anything other than wide climbing (nothing wrong with that, right)? Guilt sets in while practicing yoga or cooking, while reading or writing, and especially while "just" relaxing. Leading becomes harder the less I do it and climbing sometimes seems like a distant memory, though I'm always thinking about it, and I can always taste it. I'm starting to understand that it's ok to have other passions in life and that it's ok to make time for things other than climbing. My love for climbing still remains, but so does my passion for cooking, reading, learning, exploring, and spending time with awesome people, while sitting around the fire or cooking in the dutchie.
Sometimes I realize that I'm stretching myself too thin and I wonder, would I be more psyched to climb if I actually had more time to climb - like when I was climbing every day, maybe every other day when I lived in Colorado? Is this my brain's attempt at tricking me into thinking that I'm just not as into it as much, in order to protect my heart? Maybe. Would it be a fair trade? Less time working in the valley and more time climbing, but less money to travel? I spend a decent amount of my day daydreaming about our upcoming trip to India, Nepal, and Greece (with a stop in Florida!) and think that it's so worth it - working to save, though the idea is also in the back of my head that I can't work away my one opportunity to live in Yosemite. One thing is for sure: this is my third season in the valley and this place is still intimidating. I still have a difficult time getting psyched to climb some days, with those days usually only being a Saturday or Sunday, with occasional days after work; being a weekend warrior only further exacerbates my feelings of guilt. And then I think: this idea, referred to as my life, is almost like a dream. And in this dream, I think it's very important that I do what makes me happy, whatever that might be at that moment in time. I want to live my dreams, whatever they may be, and I want to be happy while doing so.
I believe that it is imperative that we make the most out of each day. I challenge you to read this quote to yourself each morning and see if you notice more positivity throughout your day. If you find that you need reminding, read it again. I'm going to do the same.
"Happiness is not something that comes ready made. It comes from your own actions." - Dalia Lama.
Cheyne leaves for France this Friday and is psyched on doing a big shoot there. It has been incredibly inspiring to being able to watch his photos and videos progress, even from last year. I told him he better bring me back a fancy treat - OR ELSE. I'm mega jazzed on a few special dinners and get togethers with some friends living here and visiting this weekend and I'm counting down the days until the Facelift - yahoo! I am ready for good food and beer, awesome friends, and great granite. In the meantime, I am psyched to make some elderberry muffins, tinctures, and cough syrup with my freshly picked berries. Chomp!
And finally, aint nobody got time for that: